Remus' Memories
by sweetx3
Summary: Oneshot. Remus reflects on life, death, friends, love, betrayals, and he continues a Marauder tradition.


Tonks and Remus One-Shot

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the recognizable characters, and you know.

"Dora?" I asked quietly.

She mumbled an incoherent response and rolled over. She sleeps easily, I'm glad. I can't sleep, ever. It's too difficult for me. I've always been an insomniac, usually I just took a strong dreamless sleep potion and drifted off. For the past four months or so I've become immune to the potion, to all sleep providing potions. So I lay in bed for hours each night, finding comfort in Dora's soft breathing. I usually get a laugh too, she sometimes moves around in a rather destructive way. It's like a spasm. Once she hit a lamp with such force, it hit the wall, and the bulb exploded. But that's besides the point this is about my insomnia.

I can't sleep at night because of the Marauders. James was killed. Sirius was killed. The Peter I befriended at Hogwarts was killed by the cowardly man he grew up to be. I think about my death every night. I know it's inevitable. I am not afraid. I know I will be missed. I know I will be remembered. I also know that I will be happy with my friends. That is all I can ask for.

"Dora?" I said a bit more loudly this time.

She pulled the covers over her head in response. I can feel myself smiling. Smiles aren't things you can get out of me easily. There is a crescent moon out tonight. It's lovely to see. Much better than the full moon. Of course, that's only because I'm a monster whenever it comes around. Dora cheers me up though. She insults the moon. It's ridiculous but I appreciate it.

I remember once...

_"Remus!" Dora asked as she plopped down beside me. _

_"Yes?" I answered._

_"Is there a reason you're out here so late?" She asked me. She was tired, I could tell by her voice._

_I smiled and ran my fingers through her short, mousy hair. She was too exhausted to be creative tonight._

_"No reason in particular." I said. "Catch any death eaters?"_

_She sighed, looking very disappointed. "No, in fact, the whole thing was a hoax! We searched hours for McNiar and Zabini, but nothing. Kingsley and I got back to the office to find out it was a trick!" _

_"Hope something comes up soon." I said, closing my eyes._

_"Remus?" She asked again. "I know you're not just just here."_

_"To look at the moon." I answered. "Lovely sight, isn't it?"_

_She snorted. "No! It anything BUT lovely. It's such a plain, grayish color. Oh, and it's hideous because of the dark holes!"_

_I laughed. "Does everything have to be eccentric and messy to be considered lovely?"_

_"No." She said. "You're not eccentric or messy, but I still think you're lovely. _

_I took her hand in my own and gave it a little squeeze. Dora made me feel good about myself, about my condition. She makes it all go away for a while._

_---_

I am wating for the full moon it's not that far off, actually. Before I hated it when the full moon came around. Now, I just want it to come and go. Bill Weasley got his face scratched off by Fenir Greyback. It was unfortunate; Molly moans and groans about it a lot. He doesn't transform like I do, but his senses are more alert. He has a wonderful wife, who doesn't care what he looks like. She thinks she looks good enough for both of them. It's true, she is. But, she's nothing compared to my Dora, no one is.

I hate the moon; I am frightened by the moon. It's gotten worse over the years. After James and Lily died, I lost my saviors, who made the pain subside slightly. When we found out Sirius was innocent, I was relieved, knowing I still had a marauder.

Leave it to Severus Snape to ruin it. He ridiculed Sirius which caused a not-so-pretty end for Sirius, he killed Dumbledore, and he betrayed to Order. When we were younger James and Sirius were cruel to him, but he surpassed them in cruelty with all of his betrayals. I do wonder if he had a reason I would consider legitimate, for killing Dumbledore. Snape respected Dumbledore, I never though Snape could do such a thing."

"Dora." I said, shaking her shoulders.

She groans and pushes my hands away.

I love her so dearly. She's the epitome of perfection to me. Most people we know think we're a strange couple. Dora is so loud, expressive, and creative. I am quiet, old, and slightly monstrous. But, love can take over your soul and everything can change. Right and wrong becomes unclear. Good and bad are the same thing. Differences, whether it's age, race, or beliefs, vanish. I have never treasured anyone like I treasure my Dora. The marauders I treasure, but in a different way.

"Dora." I said loudly.

"What, Remus?" She asked, pulling the covers down.

"It's two." I said quietly.

She gets up and looks and me and smiles. I can tell even though it's dark.

I take her hand and pull her out of our warm bed. We walk outside of our small bedroom and into one of the many hallways of Sirius' old home. We make our way downstairs as quietly as possible. We didn't want to wake up Molly or one of the children. Harry and his friends had a rough year to start n the morning.

"Dora." I said, patiently. "Be careful."

"I'm trying." She said, as she picked up a stool she knocked over.

We walk out the back door. If Moody knew he would actually murder us.

"Dora, stop laughing." I said, trying not to smile.

"I'm sorry, but we're actually going to get away with this when the entire house is full. It wouldn't be a big deal if it was just us going outside every week. This time we're actually getting away with something."

When we were boys, the marauders and I, we left the castle under James' cloak once a week to be animals. There was no pressure of keeping a werewolf inside a closed room and under control. In the forest I would ride on James' back, Peter would scurry around, and Sirius would free his inhibitions and howl at the sky. We found a tree in the Forbidden Forest and we marked every week we came out there and let it all out. At the end of our Hogwarts years we made a pact to keep marking at a tree that would remain ours forever. Sirius said he would mark the tree in his parents house because he had memories there. So every week he went there secretly as Padfoot and scratched the tree in his old backyard. Peter had a tree outside of his muggle-born father's house and he marked there. James went to his parent's home and marked on an old oak tree that hold many of my best childhood moments. I marked the tree that was close to where I was bitten. I held bitter memories for me. But, it reminded me of who I was.

"Here's the tree." Dora called. "Sirius' tree."

I took out a knife I put in my pocket on my way outside and made a straight line representing another week a Marauder spent living his life. I marked another day day that I spent letting go. Usually Dora and I just sit and enjoy the others company. We couldn't be wild and scream to the horizon like when I was a young boy.

"Are you going to tell Harry about all of this?" Dora asked.

"Sirius and I discussed whether or not we should tell Harry." I said quietly

"Well?" She asked.

"I'm going to tell him. He's bound to ask me about the years at Hogwarts I spent with Sirius and James. If he doesn't, I'll set him down and talk to him." I told her.

"Good." I she said.

Then it was quiet. We enjoyed the other's presence and we enjoyed memories. I thought of so much every week I did this. My friends, my heroes, those who died, my love, my life, death, everything.

A/N: Umm, I'm not really sure were this came from. It's nothing like everything else I've written. I really like it though.


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